There’s plenty of advice on how to “ace” that interview. But today, we step away from our normal resume writing services, and look at some of the more interesting takes on how you can quickly flunk an interview with little to no effort! The following are based on real-life candidate interviews.
“So, what does your company do again?”
You’d be surprised just how many times this question gets asked. It’s a fantastic way to go from hero to zero in the first opening seconds of the interview.
“I’m not really a morning person.”
Nothing says “hire me” like admitting you’ll most likely be late or unproductive during those early morning meetings or at the times where there were hoping to get the best out of you.
“I’m just here for the money.”
Yep, I’ve interviewed a candidate who said “Who really wants to work unless your are an actor or football player. All the rest of us are here to work for the money.” You know what, he was right 🙂
“I have no weaknesses.”
That blissful arrogance, where a candidate has no faults.
“I don’t like working with people.”
Yes, in the age of remote working, this statement came up twice. Whilst a dislike of working with other humans might not be a problem, it’s probably best to hold back on these type of statements unless the interviewer is AI!
“Do you do drug testing?”
Even more interesting if the next question asked is, “what do you test for?”. Even if the role is one of the hardest or easiest jobs to get into, likely that this question will not go without a response.
“I have a few legal issues right now.”
Because everyone loves a good mystery, right? This came up in an interview once, with a very unconfortable pause, the candidate just left me hanging!
“Can I finish early; I have other commitments?”
I was once asked if a candidate could take Friday afternoon’s off to play sport (their passion). But, there was no offer of making the hours up.
“I might be a bit late some days.”
Predicting lateness is a fairly unique trait, and when they’ve turned up 10 minutes late for the interview, I guess their predictions are spot on.
“I’ll do anything!”
Really, anything? Could be interesting, could be problematic.
“I hated my last boss.”
Trash-talking your previous employer is like trash-talking and ex on a first date—#awkward. What’s more, if you have a preference towards a specific manager type, best to keep it professional.
“I don’t really know how to do that.”
Sometimes a choice of phrase can go a long way, but surely you can offer a more extended response such as “but I’m willing to learn”.
“I need this job because my current one is unbearable.”
Wanting to join the company for all the right reasons.
“My biggest flaw? I’m just too much of a perfectionist.”
Ouch, get the cringeworthy awards out. Might as well add “humble” to the list.
“I don’t plan on staying here long.”
That’s fair enough, please close the door on the way out.
More Cringe-Worthy Things NOT to Do in a Job Interview
Arrive Late, Blame Traffic, and Then Complain About It.
Stroll in 15 minutes late, announce, “Wow, the traffic is terrible out there!” and then proceed to give a detailed rant about it.
Wear Sunglasses on Top of Your Head.
Demonstrating a fashion statement and showing off those latest Prada glasses are always a clear-cut way of showing who you are and giving a real sense of identity.
Bring Your Shopping with You.
Yes, as incredible as it might seem, there are those that still turn up to interview with their shopping, from food to clothing in the hand.
Answer Your Phone Mid-Interview.
“Hold on, can you give me a sec?” will be a great way to see the interviewer’s jaw drop. Unless is a matter of life or death, for every second on the phone, you can guarantee the interviewer will be absolutely cursing you.
Answer Every Question with a Question.
“Tell me about your experience.” “Tell me about your experience first!” . Do this, and the next question will likely be “do you know where the exit is”.
Give Incredibly Vague Answers.
“So, what exactly did you do in your last job?” “Oh, you know… things. Lots of things.”. Everyone loves a good enigma, but seriously, don’t leave the Interviewer needing to fill in the missing pieces.
Talk Nonstop Without Taking a Breath, ever.
Speaking so fast and so long that the interviewer doesn’t get a word in is a great way to quickly command an interview (or not). If you’re someone who finds themselves talking but not listening, it’s time to rethink your strategy
Demonstrate overconfidence.
I could do that in my sleep! Yep, arrogance is a trait that we are sure that every employer is looking for.
Vent About Your Personal Pet Peeves.
“You know what I hate? People who chew loudly. And slow walkers. And anyone who wears Crocs.” Keep listing them until the interviewer slowly inches towards the door.
Stare at the Floor Like It’s About to Reveal Life’s Secrets.
No one likes long uncomfortable eye contact, but if you’re someone who’s eye gaze tends to wonder, you’re likely be given the impression that whilst you’re physically there, you have mentally let the building.
End the Interview with a Fist Bump and a High Five.
Skip the handshake entirely, go for the fist bump, and then quickly follow up with an enthusiastic high five. Walk out confidently, knowing you’ve left the interviewer speechless—though maybe not for the reasons you hoped.
